How we can stop being a joke, part 2

Some ideas, I'll just throw them out there...

*Increase the cost of Crusader Strike slightly, but give it a chance to daze the target, increase Holy damage taken, silence/interrupt spellcasting, etc.
*Decrease the cooldown of Repentance, or
*Remove the breaks-on-damage stipulation from Repentance, but reduce its duration slightly, or
*Replace Repentance with a ranged attack, for example:
Chastise (Rank 1): 280 Mana, 2.5 sec cast, 30 yd range, 15 sec cooldown. Causes 262 to 314 Holy damage to the target and reduces its movement speed by 30% for 10 sec. Higher ranks cost more mana, but deal more damage. Or,
*Repentance instead reduces the target's movement speed for 10 sec. It doesn't matter, as long as it's changed. Repentance is FAR too weak to justify it being a 31-point talent.
*Rather than reduce stats, Vindication should increase casting time and/or reduce movement speed by 5/10/15%. (Most bosses are already immune, so this shouldn't radically up-end raiding.)
*Give Eye for an Eye a 15/30% chance to stun, fear, etc. whenever the Paladin is stunned, feared, etc.
*Make Hammer of Wrath useable against any target, not just those nearly dead, but reduce its +spell damage coefficient (so that healadins don't get 3k Hammer of Wrath crits), or
*Remove Hammer of Wrath's casting restriction, but instead make it castable only after someone in your group lands a killing blow, or
*Leave Hammer of Wrath as is, but remove its 6 second cooldown. Warriors already have Execute; why can't Pallies HoW spam to the same effect?

Most of these ideas are attempts to remedy the Retribution Paladin's sorry lack of ranged ability and CC. I'd be happy to see even one of them considered by Blizz. Here's to patch 2.4!

How we can stop being a joke

One idea. We need some form of crowd control. Here are means by which each class can ensure their target doesn't get away, by class:

Druid: Entangling Roots; Travel Form. (Faerie Fire, to prevent stealth.)
Hunter: Freezing Trap, Frost Trap (1 minute shared cooldown, reducible via Survival talents); Wing Clip (6 second cooldown); Intimidation (Beast Mastery); (Improved) Concussive Shot. (Hunter's Mark/Track Hidden, to defeat stealth.)
Mage: Frost Nova (30 sec cooldown); Cone of Cold/Dragon's Breath (30 sec shared cooldown); Frostbolt; Impact (Fire talent); Slow (Arcane talent); Polymorph. Blink (15 sec cooldown). (AoEs can be spammed to reveal stealth.)
Priest: Fear (also breaks stealth). In addition, DoTs will break stealth and ensure a slow, painful death for anyone who tries to run away.
Rogue: Cheap Shot; Blade Twisting (Combat talent); Gouge (6 sec cooldown); Kidney Shot; Blind (3 min cooldown); Sprint (5 min cooldown); Crippling Poison.
Shaman: Frost Shock (6 sec shared cooldown); Earthbind Totem; Ghost Wolf. (Some totems will foil stealth.)
Warlock: Curse of Exhaustion; fear and DoTs (see Priest).
Warrior: Intercept (requires Berserker Stance); Hamstring; Intimidating Shout (2 min cooldown). (Thunder Clap can detect stealth.)
Paladin: Avenger's Shield (requires 41 points in Protection--in other words, a non-DPS build); Hammer of Justice (1 min cooldown); Repentance (1 min cooldown). (Consecration can break stealth, but it is EXPENSIVE.)

Do you see now the folly of having a melee DPS class with only 2 CC abilities on long cooldowns (one of which breaks on damage, for Arathor's sake)? Compare the Paladin's CC with any other class and try to tell me we even come close.

Now, for a comparison of Melee DPS classes and their ranged abilities:

Feral Druid: Switch out of form to cast Starfire, Moonfire, etc.
Enhancement Shaman: Shocks; Lightning Bolt/Chain Lightning.
Rogue: Deadly Throw. Blind also has a 30 yd range.
Arms/Fury Warrior: Auto Shot/Auto Throw. Weak, but better than nothing.
Survival Hunter: I'm half-joking, seeing as how even a Survival hunter shouldn't melee unless absolutely necessary. But for the record, the pet can pursue the target or the hunter could actually use their ranged weapon (and shots)...
Retribution Paladin: Uh...Consecration has an 8 yard radius! And Hammer of Wrath! (Expensive as hell and can only be used against nearly dead targets...oh, and can be resisted AND can miss...don't forget the 6 second cooldown)

Yeah, so who gets the short end of the stick there? Warriors maybe, but they don't need mana (or rage, or whatever) to take an auto-shot at a fleeing target...

Look at me, I'm a Retadin...oh I'm dead already?

So Patch 2.3 will supposedly make the Retribution build endgame-viable. I suppose it will, although that's not to say we will suddenly be hot stuff in PvP. The biggest change on the table seems to be a reduction in cooldown for Crusader Strike from 10 to 6 seconds, and a 30% threat reduction incorporated into our 35-point talent.

None of the changes, however, remedy our inherent weakness. Sure, we do good burst damage, wear plate, can toss out an odd heal, and even bubble should the situation warrant it. But retadins aren't like Shock pallies, who have 5/5 Spiritual Focus, 12k+ armor and 10k+ mana pools to draw from. A Holy Light that would take 8% of a Shockadin's mana pool and 2.5 seconds to heal around 3500, would take maybe 15% of a Retadin's mana and upwards of 5 seconds to heal around 2500. In other words, if a Retadin's in combat, he has no hope of getting a heal off (unlike shockadins and druids), unless he bubbles or burns a stun.

Moreover, Warriors can Mortal Strike, and Rogues can stack Wound Poison, thereby eliminating the benefit of stun-healing. The planned 15% increased movement speed benefit of Pursuit of Justice is rendered moot by Hamstring or Crippling Poison.

Sure, you say, but you have a bubble! Isn't that good enough? Sure, until you bubble and heal (using up the last of your mana and reducing yourself to weak white attacks), and watch as the Warrior or Rogue bandages, reenters stealth, runs away, etc.

And against casters, forget it. Frostbolts, fears, PoM pyroblasts, DoTs...It's a miracle if I can even land a single melee swing on a caster, much less kill one.

Look at me, I'm a Warlock!

Once upon a time, in the early days of WoW, Warlocks were actually a very underpowered class. Around patch 1.8, the collective lock community had a big whine session on the official forums crying about the nerfiness of the Warlock. So what happened? Did Blizzard acknowledge this emo outburst the way they normally do, with a blue post saying something to the effect of, "The Warlock class is functioning as intended, we apologize for the inconvenience"?

In a word, no.

Since Patch 1.9, the Warlock has been by far the most overpowered class in WoW. Combine the Hunter's ability to command a pet (which can, depending on the situation, tank, DPS, or even be sacrificed to heal) with shadow priest-like DoT spells, fear effects, and health drains (AND a soulstone rez, for crying out loud), and you get, in effect, an unstoppable machine. Oh, let's not forget the Infernal summon, Dark Pact, 5k Shadowbolt crits...

For their truly epic unbalancing of the WoW classes, I hope the entire Warlock Development Team at Blizzard got fired...out of a cannon.

I mean, what are we supposed to do against a lock? By the time a melee class got close enough to take a swing, he's already got 5 DoTs stacked on him, ticking for, oh, 1k a second? Should the lock then feel he's still in trouble, hey, why not drop a fear bomb, and for good measure, sling a Shadowbolt once the fear is about to expire.

I'm not annoyed at Blizz for buffing Warlocks so heavily though; I'm more pissed that certain other classes that have every right to complain about being underpowered are going unnoticed...

It Hurts When I PvP

So, as a follow-up to last time, I was unable to obtain a good replacement helm for my Retadin during Hallow's End. Furthermore, my schedule doesn't allow me enough time to run instances to gear up. As for Arena, it's an unfortunate fact of life that most players /lol at Retadins (whether or not such a reaction is deserved). The only option open to me to get some decent endgame gear is PvP Battlegrounds, and lots of them.

Seems like a pretty sweet deal; kill Horde and eventually get a nice set of Dungeon Set 3-equivalent gear. There was only one unforseen problem in my plan:

The Alliance sucks at PvP.

Ok, maybe that's an overly broad generalization. Let's rephrase, slightly:

The Alliance in the Stormstrike battlegroup have no sense of teamwork or cohesion whatsoever, meaning that the Horde steamroll us with minimal effort.

Every Warsong Gulch is either a turtle or a midfield orgy; the only thing I see in Arathi Basin is scattered offense and a hell of a lot of fighting on the road; Alterac Valley's offense usually peters out and, once we lose our graveyards, becomes a humongous turtlefest. As for Eye of the Storm, watch the entire Alliance team gather around the (empty) flag spawn, despite having no base to return the flag to (if we ever manage to pick up and hold on to the damn thing in the first place).

The constant losing might be tolerable if I were actually able to, you know, kill some Horde. Unfortunately, Ret pallies admittedly have a lot of weaknesses. As an entirely melee-based class, against casters I'm helpless once I've burned my stuns. (The "retnoob" comments from my own teammates are a nice grinding of salt into my wounds.)

I'm hoping I'll start kicking ass once my gear improves, but until then, I've got untold hours upon hours of painful battleground losses to endure.

(Better) Lessons from Hallow's End

So I had a bit of a /rant session last time, but that's not to say I hate the seasonal events with a passion. Hallow's End is, in my opinion, one of the better seasonal events that takes place in the WoWverse. It has something to offer every player, from the Level 10 warrior in grays to the epiced-out 70s on 320% flying mounts. Mainly because of the free stuff. Okay, maybe I never did get my Horseman's Helm, but I did stumble upon a Ring of Ghoulish Delight and a Witches Band, both of which are equivalent to rings you'd have to pay 15 Badges of Justice for--and The Headless Horseman is by no means as difficult to down as a Heroic boss, much less 15.

Don't despair if you aren't 70 yet! Free stuff for all! Especially if you're level 30 or below and haven't found anything to fill your Helmet slot yet, find an Innkeeper and trick-or-treat. If you're lucky you'll find one of many available masks. Be a Tauren rogue for a day! Failing that, you may find a wand that'll transform any player into a bat, a wisp, a pirate, a ninja...Even the worst loot, the candy, is useful because it scales nicely as you level up. Or head for Goldshire and hunt down the Squashed Pumpkin Loot. Inside you'll find some Weighted Jack O' Lanterns that you can squash onto people's heads and, if you're lucky, a Rickety Magic Broom! Finally a mount for under-40s! (Disclaimer, mount doesn't actually go faster than walking. Keyword, "rickety" magic broom.)

So, I may never have gotten my helm, but that's okay. Free stuff is good no matter what.

Lessons from Hallow's End

People are greedy assholes. Oh, and they desperately want to feel superior to you.

Hell, you probably already knew that. I certainly did, even before I made the trek up to Scarlet Monastery in hopes of finding a group to take down the Headless Horseman. I was such a naïve, idealistic Paladin back then, knowing that even if I was in a group with a healadin or a prot Warrior, they'd let the DPS plate wearer have it.

Can you see my mistake? Actually, there's more than one. The obvious glaring error was assuming that a member of a PUG will pass on an epic that they might, conceivably, once in a great while, find occasion to equip when there's someone who will wear it 100% of the time also in the group. This is what everyone and his Murloc non-combat pet calls the "OMG hunter lewtz" mentality. Sure, everyone makes fun of the huntard who equips an epic two-hander with no stats because "its teh epicz!!!111!!one" but the sad thing is I've actually had tankadins, prot warriors, and healadins say they wanted the helm and would roll against legitimate plate DPS...and no one makes fun of their huntard-esque noobiness.

The second error, and the much more crippling one, was assuming I'd be able to find a group. You'd be surprised how many people are so desperate for personal validation that they'll floccinaucinililpilify the Retribution paladin. Or, as they called me, "Retardadin," "noobadin," "lawlret," etc. Aside from proudly showing off their own ignorance, these insults do nothing but insult themselves, for the simple reason that despite what they seem to think, yes, I can DPS. I don't mean to brag in the least, but in instances I top the DPS meter more often than not, beating out Rogues, Hunters, Warlocks, even Mages--all while relegating myself to the task of off-tank or backup healer as necessary. So if I'm a "retardadin" and I'm beating you on the DPS list, what's that make you?

Oh, I already answered that. A person who desperately wants to feel superior. And you're probably a greedy asshole, too. /fart